You are to be commended for seeking wisdom in the area of conflict resolution.
Read any of the online articles listed in this guide. Read the articles first for yourself and choose one or two that seem to apply to your situation. Then let’s discuss this material together.
Read any of the scriptures of help and hope in this guide and let’s discuss.
Please know that you are not alone, communication problems are the number one cause of marital frustration for many couples.
Remember that the goal in marriage is not to be conflict-free but to handle conflict correctly when it occurs
Be assured that conflict resolution is a skill that can be learned
Please know that even the efforts of only one partner can greatly reduce the conflict in a marriage
Ask for forgiveness for anything you’ve done to offend. Be the first to extend the olive branch.
Remember that you cannot control your spouse, only God can do that.
Remember that your spouse is not the enemy.
Remember that always avoiding conflict does not make lasting peace and could even prolong the problem.
Discover how your spouse responds to conflict differently than you do and adapt to them out of love.
Remember that cold indifference is often as destructive as hot anger… and neither really resolves conflict.
Reflect on what cravings or desires in your own heart may underlie this conflict (i.e. peace and quiet, obedient children, respectful co-workers, financial security, a good reputation, etc.)
Determine what is more important to you in this case, resolution of the issue or reconciliation of the relationship. What do you think is more important to God?
Think of one thing you can do today to honor God in this situation.
Consider your contribution to the conflict and how that has affected the current state of affairs. How could you have responded differently?
Even if you were only 2% responsible for the conflict, are you taking 100% of the responsibility for your 2%? What does that look like?
In light of Proverbs 19:11, prayerfully determine if this is an offense that is really worth fighting over or one that could be overlooked.
Reflect on where this conflict is leading you if it continues in the direction it is heading right now.
Name one thing that you most enjoyed about your relationship today and one thing you were dissatisfied with in your relationship today. Discuss these with
your spouse and determine if either of these represents patterns you see
repeated often.
