“One of the cruelest and most self-condemning remarks I’ve ever heard is the one that men often use when they leave their wives for another woman: ‘The truth is, I’ve never loved you.’  This is meant to be an attack on the wife—saying in effect, ‘The truth is, I’ve never found you lovable.’  But put in a Christian context, it’s a confession of the man’s utter failure to be a Christian.  If he hasn’t loved his wife, it is not his wife’s fault, but his.  Jesus calls us to love even the unlovable—even our enemies!—so a man who says ‘I’ve never loved you’ is a man who is saying essentially this: ‘I’ve never acted like a Christian’.”