• Prayerfully consider what you have done to honor God through seeking or granting forgiveness.  Is there a specific action you can think of that shows your desire to honor God in this?
  • Prayerfully seek the wisdom and counsel of others in this area of forgiveness.  Be teachable and open to their advice.
  • Decide not to talk to others (gossip) about this incident (apart from seeking godly counsel as suggested above.)
  • Meditate on Scriptures of hope and help.  Consider how to apply these to
    your life right now.
  • Struggling with issues of forgiveness is a common problem.  Reflect
    on any other instances of unforgiveness in your past to determine if there is a pattern of behavior.
  • Pray about one thing you could do to take the initiative and risk being vulnerable in this situation.
  • If forgiveness is an issue in your marriage, consider attending a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember marriage getaway.
  • You cannot control others, but you can honor God with your own actions.
    Consider how you could honor God in this particular situation today.
  • Read Up-Close Forgiveness by Dennis Rainey and dialogue about what you’ve read with your spouse or a mentor.
  • Once you have truly forgiven someone, anger and bitterness can be replaced by feelings of peace.  Are you experiencing peace right now?  If not, do you know why not?
  • Regardless of whether or not the offender has repented, we can always release the offense ourselves and maintain a readiness to forgive when they ask. Pray for a heart that is ready to forgive.
  • By doing the right thing, forgiving someone else, you bring pleasure to God regardless of how the other person responds.  Think about the
    importance of honoring God in this situation.
  • Pray for the person that offended you, releasing their offense to God.
  • Grace can be given immediately and unconditionally, but full reconciliation and restoration of a right relationship will require repentance and forgiveness of both parties.  Think about what that looks like in this situation.
  • Consider what will most effectively serve the other person and glorify God in this situation—showing mercy or allowing the other person to experience the consequences that may teach a needed lesson.
  • In forgiveness we often lay down our rights to justice, money, or something else valuable.  What will forgiveness cost you in this
    circumstance?  Then contemplate the cost Christ paid for us on the cross.
  • Reflect on how much you have been forgiven after reading the parable of the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:21-35).
  • Read Philippians 2:13 and 4:13, acknowledging that it is God who gives you the desire and the ability to forgive someone.
  • Seek local help from a Christian counselor or pastor if necessary.
  • Be sure you are involved in a local, Bible-believing church for spiritual growth and accountability.