• What can you tell me about how you’ve gotten to this point in your marriage?
• What steps have been taking so far to reconcile?  What have been the results of those efforts?
• Do you have children?  Tell me about how they are being affected right now by the state of your marriage?
• What have you learned about yourself from your most common conflicts?  Any helpful discoveries?  Any difficult ones?
• Do you relate to any of these common habits during conflict?

–          Win by overpowering the other
–          Yield in order to keep peace
–          Withdraw to avoid the conflict
–          Compromise by bargaining
–          Resolve through consideration of all sides of the issue

• What do you believe God wants right now from you?
• As you think about your marriage, what would you say are the biggest mistakes that you’ve personally made?
• Are you willing to reconcile, even if the process takes a while?  Is your spouse?
• What is one small step you can take in the right direction and how can I help you right now to get started?
• How can I help and encourage you right now?