by Debi Pryde and Don Stewart

Editor’s Note: During the October 21, 2005 “FamilyLife Today” broadcasts, on “Finding Refuge: Escaping the Cycle of Domestic Abuse,” guest Don Stewart shared three questions to help a man discover how he is doing in the area of abuse. He encouraged all men to take these questions home to discuss them with their wives, allowing their wives the freedom to answer truthfully. We’ve provided them here for your use. We pray that God would use these questions, and their corresponding broadcasts, to help your marriage be a safe, joyous one for you, your spouse, your children, and your God.

1. Are you or the children afraid of me?
2. Do you feel safe enough to tell me how you feel about our relationship?
3. Am I controlling you or suffocating you with my demands and expectations?

If your wife answers “yes” to any one of these questions, though you may not have physically abused your wife, you may be abusing your position as leader in your home.