“Many of the marital problems we face are not problems between individual couples—Jim and Susan, Mark and Diane, or Rob and Jill. They are the problems between men, generally, and women, generally. They are problems that arise because we are either too lazy or too selfish to get to know our spouse well enough to understand how different from us they really are.”

“While it may seem bizarre and shallow to women, we men can honestly think that if we’re happy, our wives are happy, and we won’t know otherwise unless you say something.”

“I often hear many wives complain that their husbands are too disconnected and passive on family matters. But why is he passive? Quite likely in the past, every time he tried to step up to the plate, she had a better idea. After a while, he just let her have her way.”

“Forgiveness is costly, but to refuse to forgive costs even more. As someone said, ‘The longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets.’ And, I might add, the lonelier it gets.”

"The name we give to something shapes our attitude toward it'.”

“It’s easy to think surely a spouse is the answer. But guess what? Married people get lonely too … Whatever the reasons, the reality is that marriage has fallen far short of their dreams. They’re lonelier now than they ever were.”

“Most wives have little idea the depth of painful feelings men have when disrespected. Men don’t display a crushed countenance and begin to cry. Instead, they get angry, go silent and withdraw. Or they attack with words of disrespect, seeking to equalize things. This goes over the heads of most wives. Instead, these women feel even more unloved.”

“When a wife believes there is a problem, when she feels hurt, lonely, or neglected, she definitely has no interest in responding sexually. When her spirit is crushed, her body is unavailable.”

“Many people, even godly men and women, live in marriages that are dead because there is no affection. And women endure it because their husbands are good in other ways, or they don’t feel worthy enough to ask for affection. But this is not the way God designed the marital relationship. … If you are in a marriage that lacks it, pray for the Holy Spirit’s transformation.”

“Isolation is like a terminal virus that invades your marriage, silently, slowly, and painlessly at first. By the time you become aware of its insidious effects, it can be too late. Your marriage can be crippled by boredom and apathy, and even die from emotional malnutrition and neglect.”

“Behind virtually every case of marital dissatisfaction lies unrepented sin. Couples don’t fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance.”

“There is no man on the face of this earth who can satisfy the deepest longings of a woman’s heart‐‐God has made us in such a way that we can never be truly satisfied with anything or anyone less than Himself (Psalm 16:11; 34:8‐10).”

"Due to our fallen condition, our feelings often have very little to do with reality. In many instances, feelings are simply not a reliable gauge of what is actually true. When we allow them to be tied to our circumstances‐‐which are constantly changing‐‐rather than to the unchangeable realities of God and His Truth, our emotions are prone to fluctuate wildly."

“Frustration is the by-product of attempting to fulfill responsibilities God does not intend for us to carry. Freedom, joy, and fruitfulness come from seeking to determine God’s priorities for each season of life, and then setting out to fulfill those priorities, in the power of His Spirit, realizing that He has provided the necessary time and abilities to do everything that He has called us to do.”

“Because Satan understands the power unleashed when two become one and join forces to call upon God, he will strategize to keep you from praying together.  He wants to divide you, isolate you from one another, and have you thinking unkind thoughts about your spouse.”

"Most men are not necessarily unwilling to meet their wife’s needs; they simply are unaware of what those needs really are."

"God’s plan for you, whether you’re married, single, or about to be married, unless He gives you the gift of singleness, is to be in a warm, loving marriage relationship, characterized by open communication, a lot of hard work, deep commitment, setting boundaries, and doing it God’s way."

“We learned that sacrifice is the language of romance, and selfishness is the language of isolation and rejection. Commitment inspires one to sacrifice, and sacrifice makes commitment a rare jewel to be cherished.”