I am so glad you had the courage to reach out to a mentor during your loss. I know that wasn’t easy. I’m sorry that you are even at this place where you need a mentor in the area of grief and loss.
Tell me about the loved one that you lost. How long have they been gone? Would you like to tell me how it happened? Know that I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through.
What was one of your favorite memories of your loved one?
Tell me what you miss the most.
What is the most difficult thing for you right now?
How long have you been grieving this loss?
What are some of the other emotions that you have felt during this grieving process?
Are you alone in this loss or are you surrounded by others who also grieve? How are others grieving differently than the way you are grieving?
Have you taken time to be honest before God about how you feel? Are you feeling any anger toward God? Have you told Him that?
Do you feel like you are moving forward or are you stuck in your grief?
Would you be willing to read some of the Psalms and the Book of Job to see how often God’s Word resonates with people in agonizing circumstances?
Do you find yourself filling your life with activity to the point that you are never alone with your thoughts?
Everyone in the family grieves differently. How do you feel like your children are processing their grief? Who is a safe and available person who may be able come alongside to help?
Have you made a list of all the things you can thank God for, even now?
Do you feel like you as a family are grieving together?
During this time others may look to you for comfort in their own grief. Are you taking time to take care of yourself or are you helping everyone else?
Are you seeking the help of your pastor or other church leadership or a good Christian counselor? Are you seeking out a grief support group?
Are you making sure your close friends and church family know of specific ways they can pray for you and your family?
Who can you ask to help you sort out ways for other people to help when you yourself may not know what to ask or who to ask?
Grief is very complex and there are many layers of grief. Tell me where you are in your journey at this point.
How can the church help? Is there a friend in church that can be a point person to coordinate meals or rides for the kids?
What has been one of the loneliest places for you? Tell me where or when you feel the loneliest.
Holidays may look different, especially that first year. If you need to change things during this “year of firsts” that’s OK.
The first year is hard. Don’t feel like you need to make any major decisions or changes you feel uncomfortable with (i.e. get rid of possessions, move, change jobs, etc.)
