• Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect, p. 196
    “From the very beginning, man was called upon to ‘work in the field’ and to provide for his family. The male feels a deep need to be involved in adventure and conquest. This is not an option for him; it is a deep-seated trait.”
  • Robert Lewis, Raising a Modern-Day Knight, p. 83
    “Nothing grates on a man’s spirit quite like irrelevance. The knowledge that our best efforts and heroic deeds were meaningless is a bitter pill to swallow.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Starting Your Marriage Right, p. 233
    “To disarm travel-related issues, the two of you must agree that the work necessitating the travel is important and God’s plan for the road warrior. If after prayer and discussion you both agree that the job is God’s will, then dealing with the stress and inconvenience will be easier.”
  • Howard Dayton, Your Money Map, p. 85
    “Most of us struggle with too many things to do and too little time in which to do them. The good can become the enemy of the best.”
  • Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free, p. 226
    “All of us have had seasons when we feel we just can’t keep going; we just can’t take any more. As with every other of deception, the key to defeating this lie is to counter it with the truth. Regardless of what our emotions or our circumstances may tell us, God’s Word says, ‘My grace is sufficient for you’ (2 Corinthians 12:9).”
  • Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free, p. 120
    “Frustration is the by-product of attempting to fulfill responsibilities God does not intend for us to carry. Freedom, joy, and fruitfulness come from seeking to determine God’s priorities for each season of life, and then setting out to fulfill those priorities, in the power of His Spirit, realizing that He has provided the necessary time and abilities to do everything that He has called us to do.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Pressure Proof Your Marriage, p. 77-78
    “Set aside one day in seven to rest from your work, to re-engage your focus on the Lord, and to abide more fully in Him. I’m not necessarily suggesting that your Sabbath be on Sunday, although we think that’s the best day. Pick your day. The key is to set aside one in seven where you say no to the errands and the to-do list. Where you step off the treadmill, catch your breath, and regain some margin. A day where you relax, pray, read Scripture, go fishing, take a walk, or take a nap … The Sabbath is God’s invitation to draw near to Him, to rest in Him, and to linger by His still waters. That’s how He helps us ‘detoxify’ from the pressures of the week.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Pressure Proof Your Marriage, p. 69
    “Choose to say ‘NO’ frequently … so you can say ‘YES!’ where it really counts. Often the most courageous and powerful word in our vocabulary is the word no. Whether in your finances, in your relationships, or in your activities and commitments, learn the power of saying no more often than yes.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Pressure Proof Your Marriage, p. 51
    “Whether you know it or not, your marriage is susceptible to the ‘American Dream Syndrome.’ Through an endless parade of messages in this media-driven culture, you and I are sold the notion that we can have it all—and what’s more, that we deserve to have it all.”
  • Dennis Rainey, Moments Together for Couples, August 27 devotion
    “We seldom think of careerism as an ‘affair.’ But it is. What is an affair? It is breaking your marriage vows and giving yourself to someone or something else—a person, a career, or material possessions.”
  • Bob Lepine, The Christian Husband, p. 77
    “In addition to being in constant communion with God, we are to spend regular periods of time in focused, one-on-one interaction with our Creator.  And what a privilege!  To have access to the throne room of heaven anytime we choose is a divine benefit we should not ignore.”
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Two Hearts Praying as One, p. 38
    “Experiencing the presence of God together in prayer is a wonderful way to defuse workplace stress and reconnect as husband and wife.”
  • Heather Jamison, Reclaiming Intimacy, p. 63
    "Many young adults faced with financial pressures don’t realize, as I didn’t at the time, that happiness doesn’t come with what you have but with how you perceive what you have. The ultimate solution to financial stress comes only through placing your trust in God as your provider and source of contentment. In the Bible, Paul had learned to be content with much or little. Young couples in new marriages have the opportunity to grow spiritually by developing the virtue of contentment."
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, The New Building Your Mate’s Self-Esteem, p. 180
    "Your mate needs you to be a cheerleader, not a preacher. Praise and applaud your mate’s right choices; don’t just tell him what he does wrong. Most likely he already receives daily reminders of his failures from a host of other people."
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, The New Building Your Mate’s Self-Esteem, p. 141
    "Giving your mate the freedom to fail communicates that you are on his team, regardless of the outcome. It tells him that even if he makes a mistake and fails, you will be there to help him up, dust him off, and encourage him to try again. The issue is not whether he will ever fail, but rather whether he will get back up and whether you will be at his side."
  • Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Pressure Proof Your Marriage, p. 65
    “Twice a year, we highly recommend getting away for at least an overnight stay—without the kids. … This could be as simple as checking into a hotel across town, or a trip to another city. These getaways are especially important when you are faced with certain decisions ... Furthermore, when both spouses share in the decisions that increase and decrease pressure, they take ownership of the direction of their marriage, which can minimize tension.”
  • Esteem them for reaching out for help in this area of life
  • Encourage them to take this online pressure test and to discuss the results with you
  • Encourage them to consider attending a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember marriage getaway
  • Encourage them to read an appropriate Online Help or resource from those listed in this Mentor Guide and discuss that with you
  • Let them know they are not alone, stress is common to all marriages
  • Assure them that stress management is a skill that can be learned
  • Encourage them to read God's word about the "Sabbath" rest and to open their heart to God's wisdom in that area of life
  • Encourage them that small changes can lead to big results when it comes to stress, but that stressful things will continue to "pile up" if not addressed
  • Encourage them to set aside some time to make a list of what's truly important in their life and to include their spouse in that exercise if possible
  • Encourage them to not lose heart or give up hope... that God can still give them the "abundant life" He desires, but it will take some significant adjustments and could take time
  • Encourage your mentee to get involved in a local, Bible-believing church for spiritual growth and accountability