• You are to be commended for recognizing your loneliness and isolation and for seeking help.
• Pray and ask the Lord to guide you through these difficult times.  Ask the Lord to free you of any resentment and bitterness you may be harboring.
• Share your feelings with your spouse, being open and transparent yet speaking the truth in love.
• Attend a Bible-believing church regularly and get involved in a bible study.
• If you are a mother, join a play group and make a point of befriending others whose spouses are deployed and reach out to them.
• Explore other opportunities to interact with people in a healthy manner.  Initiate.
• Set a daily schedule/routine and stick with it as much as possible.
• Set goals to work toward during the course of the deployment.  You could do this together as a couple and hold each other accountable.
• Do some volunteer work either at church or for a local charity.  Get your children involved, too.
• Choose one of the books or online articles.  Read it and then we’ll discuss it.
• Think of one thing you could do to help your children who are struggling with the separation.
• Plan to attend a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember getaway when your spouse returns from deployment.

If your spouse has extended duty,

• What is one step could you take today toward bridging the gap that has developed between you and your mate?
• Plan a date night with your spouse well in advance and organize a sitter.
• Pack your spouse a delicious lunch with a note inside expressing your love and respect.
• Support your spouse and don’t be angry with him/her for doing his/her job.
•  Keep in mind that your spouse is not your enemy!
• If you are a woman, read Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas, particularly chapters 12-13: Helping Your Husband to Become More Involved at Home and How to Help Your Man Put Family First.
• Remember that the Lord loves you, and He is the author of marriage.  He also knows that your spouse cannot meet all of your needs.  You can rely on God for comfort and strength during these hard times.  Reach out to others in the body of Christ.
• Ask your spouse, “What things would you like me to do that I’m not doing?”
• Ask God to help you be a better spouse, a better friend and a better parent.  What is one thing you could do in each of these areas to improve your relationships?
• Spend more time asking about your spouse’s day than complaining about yours.
• Focus on being in a good mood when your spouse comes home from work.
• If you want your spouse to move toward you, ask yourself how you are moving toward your spouse.
• How could you make your spouse’s life more enjoyable?
• How can I help you get started in working through these feelings of loneliness and isolation?