“Many parents spend decades reacting to their child’s rebellious behavior without ever realizing that the child is having serious issues with God. This lack of understanding on the parents’ part only makes the child feel that much more frustrated. It behooves parents to consider rebellious behavior as a symptom of a deeper struggle.”

“We can do all of the right things and some of our children will still turn out to be less than we hope. Even the best of our children embrace some foolish behavior at some time. Regardless, let’s make sure that we are doing all that we can to avoid giving them any parental justification for their foolishness.”

“When we try to protect children from failure by making decisions for them, we not only discourage them, but we handicap them, too. They don’t feel like true participants in the activities that make up their lives. Furthermore, they develop a sense of being victims. Then they can develop a mind-set that they aren’t really to blame when they make mistakes, which leads them to not assume responsibility.”

"Strong-willed children, if brought up right, can have an incredible impact for God's cause. The key to strong-willed children is that they want to have some control of what's going on in their lives. Without surrendering one bit of authority as a parent, you can still let them pick what they want from a restaurant menu, the outfit they want to wear, which bed they want to take a nap in, and so forth. Choose your battles carefully or it will become one high controller pitted against another. In most cases, you'll lose."

“Your willingness to acknowledge your own feet of clay is one of the best starting points when it comes to helping your children, especially when they have chosen to embrace an attitude of rebellion against you, God, or both. A realistic view of ourselves forces us to lean on God and helps us look at our rebellious children through His loving and grace-filled eyes.”

“As much as possible, keep all lines of communication open. Enjoy the interaction you have with them outside the times you are forced to deal with their rebellious attitude. Don’t let conversations about their bad behavior dominate so much of your focus that it destroys the foundation of love you established with them before the rebellion began.”

“Rebellion during children’s teenage years is often little more than an attempt to gain enough breathing space from their parents to figure out who they are—and what their relationship with God is going to be.”

"Rather than becoming obsessed with the evil around you, ask God to give you a fresh perspective to see how He can bring good out of it. Look for the hand of God in your difficult situations. He is willing to use even the most horrible sins and the most foolish choices, as long as we trust Him to do just that."

"Self-discovery is a very lonely and difficult course, but for most prodigals, it is the only path back. No one else can help them until they are ready to face some harsh realities."

“Young people can figure out pretty quickly whether you really want to understand where they are coming from. Your concern may not cause an immediate about-face in their behavior, but it ultimately makes them more inclined to trust you and respond to what you are trying to do for them.

“The more we set as our goal to parent with perfection, the more we will not only fail, but we will fail with rigidity, anger, and guilt. We will come to covertly hate our children since their presence in our lives is the occasion for what we perceive as our greatest failures.”

“The enemy uses two opposite lies to put parents in bondage. The first is that they have no control or influence over how their children have turned out … The second is that they are 100 percent responsible for how their children have turned out—that it is all their fault. They fail to recognize that, regardless of how well or poorly anyone is parented, each individual must assume responsibility for his or her own choices.”

“Raising spiritually passionate kids who have a strong belief system is not formulaic. You have to deal with a child’s abstract emotions and fickle heart. Your children’s relationships with God can’t simply be programmed by their environment.”

“The family must become the harbor in the storm. The family must be that safe haven that always welcomes your teens back. No matter what the world says to them, they know they can find love there. We often tell our children, 'Nothing you can do will make me love you any more and nothing you can do will make me love you less.’”

“Our children hunger to know that they are loved unconditionally, through failure and success, no matter what they say or do. And, while few would ever admit it, they are dying to experience the security and comfort that come with appropriate boundaries.”