Encourage your mentee to work through any leftover baggage from their previous marriage. Unsettled issues or bitterness toward a former spouse will eventually poison all the relationships within the new marriage and family.
Encourage the mentee toward realistic expectations by avoiding the idea that stepfamilies should happen the same as nuclear families.
Encourage your mentee not to take over the parent role too quickly. Until the stepchild is ready to accept your authority it is best to position yourself behind the biological parent and play a supportive role rather than directive one.
Encourage stepparents to focus first on the development of a warm and friendly relationship with the stepchild rather than immediately stepping in as a disciplinarian.
Encourage participation in a HomeBuilders parenting Bible study with other Christian stepparents.
Encourage regular family meetings where every family member can be heard and where rules can be explained, understood, and adjusted when necessary.
Encourage them to improve problem-solving skills that identify and “own” feelings rather than blaming or shaming. This develops a win-win atmosphere in the home.
Affirm the fact that stressful situations will abound within the complex structure of a stepfamily. A spiritually growing stepfamily is one that anticipates mistakes as a normal part of life. Stressful situations are seen as opportunities to grow.
Encourage your mentee to realize that balancing the needs of the children and the needs of the marriage is a constant priority. If done properly, this provides the family with stability and maintains proper generational boundaries. The longer the single-parent role was held, the more difficult the new couple bond will be to establish in remarriage.
Encourage your mentee to get involved in a local, Bible-believing church for spiritual growth and support.
Encourage your mentee to read articles and books to help them understand the uniqueness of stepfamily dynamics
