“Over the years of my marriage, I have learned that love is the daily discipline to continue in a marriage the things I did out of passion when my wife and I were dating.”

“Marriages can become plodding, cyclical routines filled with boredom and obligation. No one expects that a marriage will retain the giddy glow of excitement that comes with the novelty of new love. But it is equally wrong to assume that passion must wane simply because of familiarity.”

“Sloth is a romance killer. Even the word chills the air. By sloth I simply mean laziness with respect to marital intimacy. The most common fruits of this heart condition are passivity and unresponsiveness. We begin to let our appearance go. We grow comfortable with bedroom boredom. We tolerate a lack of sexual desire and settle for one partner doing all the initiating.”

“The secret is learning how and what to sow in the garden of a woman’s heart. When you sow the seeds of respect, kind words, acts of tenderness, and thoughtfulness, you reap a reward from your wife in abundance… On the other hand, if you fail to cultivate this relationship, or if you sow seeds of criticism, neglect, or rage, sex becomes little more than a cold, physical act in which your wife feels used and unloved.”

“Spiritually speaking, you may find that your spouse will have more interest in growing with you in an intimate relationship with God if you are interested in growing in your intimacy with your mate.”

“Many men who were accomplished at romantic, deep conversation during courtship seem to lose this talent later. Make a commitment to learn to make intimate conversation a priority with your wife.”

“Romance and resentment cannot exist in the same heart. Resentment will extinguish the embers of romance. That’s why forgiveness is such as essential discipline in marriage. Forgiveness says, ‘By forgiving you, I give up all my rights to punish you for how you’ve hurt me. I no longer hold it against you, expecting you to pay for your transgressions.’ When you forgive you spouse, you choose to relinquish your rights to hold it against her.”

“One of the most powerful principles for romance that any man could apply to his marriage is: Words spoken face‐to‐face, heart‐to‐heart, to your wife are powerful.”

“While men may need to be reminded of the importance of frequent nonsexual touching, many wives have learned that if a woman is not pursuing her husband sexually, just about every other movement toward her husband may go unnoticed.”

“Marriages that are sexually satisfying in private carry into the public sphere a certain sparkle, an open demonstration of joy and unity that helps point people to the Creator of marriage."”

“When a wife believes there is a problem, when she feels hurt, lonely, or neglected, she definitely has no interest in responding sexually. When her spirit is crushed, her body is unavailable.”

“Many people, even godly men and women, live in marriages that are dead because there is no affection. And women endure it because their husbands are good in other ways, or they don’t feel worthy enough to ask for affection. But this is not the way God designed the marital relationship. … If you are in a marriage that lacks it, pray for the Holy Spirit’s transformation.”

“When marriage is filled with more withdrawals than deposits, it’s easy to forget why you married in the first place … The same love that drew us to our mates so that we wanted to spend our lives with them is still there. It may be covered over with the trauma of irritations and the loss of romance, but it’s there nevertheless.”

“Women hold an incredible power in the way we communicate with our men (both husbands and sons) to build them up or to tear them down, to encourage or to exasperate.”

“When a woman thinks of security, her primary thought is not about a house, a savings account, or tuition for the kids.  For her, emotional security matters most: feeling emotionally connected and close to you, and knowing that you are there for her no matter what.”

"When Scripture speaks of ‘cleaving,’ the idea in the Hebrew is to cling, hold, or keep close. Two are joined together face to face, becoming one flesh ... Cleaving, however, is more than sexual. Cleaving also means spiritual and emotional closeness. This is a salient passage for husbands—full of insight. Your wife will feel loved when your move toward her and let her know you want to be close with a look, a touch, or a smile."<

“We learned that sacrifice is the language of romance, and selfishness is the language of isolation and rejection. Commitment inspires one to sacrifice, and sacrifice makes commitment a rare jewel to be cherished.”