• Esteem them for acknowledging the need to invest in their marriage by improving their non‐sexual intimacy and romance
  • Esteem them for battling against the normal slide toward isolation in marriage
  • Encourage them with Scriptures of hope and help
  • Let them know they are not alone. We all need to invest more time and energy into this area of marriage!
  • Encourage them with examples from your own experience and with practical tips that have worked for your marriage
  • Encourage them to pray every day together, even if it’s just for a moment or two… “first love” can lead to mutual love
  • Encourage them to not give up or lose hope, and to not even consider divorce as an option
  • Encourage them to watch out for argument triggers that have a way of killing any hope for tenderness (James 1:19)
  • Encourage them to consider a short TV fast, maybe even 48 hours, to re‐establish meaningful connection (Ephesians 5:16)
  • Encourage them to put their thoughts down on paper if it helps diffuse the strong emotions involved
  • Encourage them not to settle for the isolation, but to do the hard work to move back toward one another
  • Remind them that God has a plan for oneness in their marriage and that He provides the power to make it happen
  • Encourage them to make a list of the positive things about their spouse and to find time to verbalize those (Philippians 4:6‐8)
  • Encourage them to be the one to break the stalemate and move closer, to take the risk!
  • Remind them that love is action, not feelings (1 Corinthians 13:4‐7)
  • Encourage them to consider attending a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember marriage getaway
  • Encourage them to read Rekindling the Romance with their spouse and to discuss one chapter at a time together
  • Make a “wish list” of 3 things you desire in your relationship with your spouse.
    Take turns sharing your “I wish” statements with your partner and describe how
    you would feel if your wish came true.
  • Talk to your spouse about what affection was like in your family growing up (verbal and non-verbal).
  • Think about how your father and mother may have shown affection differently.
  • Discuss ways your family could express more affection for one another.
  • On a scale of 1-10, rate how much affection you feel you have in your marriage right now. Talk about what you would like it to be if you and your spouse could agree on how to gently and patiently bring about change.
  • Consider discussing your sexual past with your spouse in a way that is open and honest.
  • Think of something (hobby, sport, recreational activity) you would like to pursue together.
  • Talk about one of your favorite dates.  What was it about that date that made it so memorable? Is this something you could do again?