by Cindy Blunier

This article is not about the right to vote, or equal pay or even the right to choose whether or not you terminate a pregnancy.  It’s about sex. 

 At some point, as a wife and a mom, you may wonder just how much ownership you have of your own body.  Someone else always seems to need it in some way, shape or form!  On a good day, this is very fulfilling.  But at other times you may become weary with a whining toddler hanging on you while the baby is resting on one hip as you make dinner.  Or you may have a teenage daughter that wants to talk late at night about a “major event” going on in her life.

 At last everyone is finally in bed, except your husband. You sit down to relax and discover that he’d like to petition for a bit of his ownership, too.

 Dave Harvey writes about this in his book When Sinners Say I Do:  “Nothing makes you feel less like a lover than living like a parent.  But God’s Word speaks to us: real people in real life–not characters in romance movies or sexual Olympians.  Scripture brings sound wisdom for the daily experience of marriage, where real people have real problems and need real help from a real God.”

 So what does the Bible say?

Romans 6:19b-20 says, “You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore, honor God with your body.”  Basically, our bodies belong to God; a temple of the Holy Spirit.

I Cor. 7:4 also gives your spouse ownership: “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.”

 Philippians 2 reminds us that we are to put others’ needs above our own.  That goes both ways.  But sometimes we have to be the one to say, “OK, I am exhausted, but I know he needs me; we need each other.  I need to put his need for sex above my need for sleep.”

 So once I’ve made that decision, how do I get in the mood so that I am fully engaged in yet another opportunity to share my body?

 I’ve heard a lot of good suggestions.  Take a bubble bath and relax.  Put on a sexy negligee.  Light candles.  Play romantic music.  But honestly, none of these suggestions have worked really well for me.

 So what is the silver bullet for getting in the mood?  At one of the FamilyLife marriage get-a-ways the female speaker said, “I pray that God will make me a sexy wife.”  Hmmm…  Prayer?  Really?  Really.  It works.  If the mind is truly the most profound sexual organ, then Romans 12:1-2 works pretty well.  I’m not referring to the part about being a living sacrifice, but the part that talks about “being transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  Pray for energy.  Desire.  Responsiveness.  Excitement.  Or whatever else comes to mind that might help you get in the mood.

 My husband often prays for our sexual intimacy as well.  Sometimes I wonder if we have “dueling prayers” ascending heavenward!  But the results in our marriage have a proven track record that prayer works. So next time you’re feeling like you want to claim the rights to your body or that of your spouse, pray first.  You may be pleasantly surprised at the results!