• Esteem them for acknowledging the need to invest in their marriage by improving their sexual intimacy
  • Let them know they are not alone. Many people struggle to mature in this area of marriage, but it’s worth the investment!
  • Encourage them with Scriptures of hope and help
  • Encourage them to understand the basic gender differences regarding sex and how this can lead to mutual self‐sacrifice
  • Encourage them to pray every day together, even if it’s just for a moment or two—“first love” can lead to mutual love
  • Encourage them to not give up or lose hope, and to not even consider divorce as an option
  • Encourage them to watch out for argument triggers that have a way of killing any hope for tenderness (James 1:19)
  • Encourage them to put their thoughts down on paper if it helps diffuse the strong emotions involved
  • Encourage them not to settle for isolation, but to do the hard work to move back toward one another sexually
  • Remind them that they cannot control their spouse, only God can do that
  • Encourage them to consider attending a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember marriage getaway
  • Remind them their spouse is not their enemy
  • Encourage them to choose a good Christian resource on sexual intimacy in marriage and to read it with their spouse
  • Encourage them to realize that neglecting marital sex puts the relationship at risk—in other words, it’s worth the time!
  • Make a “wish list” of 3 things you desire in your relationship with your spouse.
    Take turns sharing your “I wish” statements with your partner and describe how
    you would feel if your wish came true.
  • Talk to your spouse about what affection was like in your family growing up (verbal and non-verbal).
  • Think about how your father and mother may have shown affection differently.
  • Discuss ways your family could express more affection for one another.
  • On a scale of 1-10, rate how much affection you feel you have in your marriage right now. Talk about what you would like it to be if you and your spouse could agree on how to gently and patiently bring about change.
  • Consider discussing your sexual past with your spouse in a way that is open and honest.
  • Talk with your spouse about what helps you to get in the mood for sex.
  • Ask your spouse how often they would like you to initiate sex.
  • Discuss with your partner the frequency of sex in your marriage and if you each feel this is satisfactory.
  • If there are any specific sexual acts that make you uncomfortable, discuss those with your spouse.
  • Try to think of one thing you could you do to make your sexual relationship more gratifying.