Esteem your mentee for acknowledging the need to invest in his/her marriage by improving their sexual difficulties
Encourage your mentee to get involved in a local, bible-believing church for spiritual growth and accountability
Encourage him/her with Scriptures of hope and help
Let him/her know s/he is not alone. A growing number of men and women struggle with sexual passivity.
Encourage him/her to realize that understanding can actually foster intimacy.
Encourage him/her with examples from your own experience and with practical tips that have worked for your marriage.
Encourage him/her to pray every day together with his/her spouse, even if it’s just for a moment or two.
Encourage him/her to not give up or lose hope, and to not even consider divorce as an option.
Encourage him/her to watch out for argument triggers that have a way of killing any hope for tenderness (James 1:19 ).
Encourage him/her to consider a short TV fast, maybe even 48 hours, to re-make meaningful connection. (Ephesians 5:16 )
Encourage him/her to put their thoughts down on paper if it helps diffuse the strong emotions involved.
Encourage him/her not to settle for the isolation, but to do the hard work to move back toward one another.
Remind him/her that God has a plan for oneness in his/her marriage and that He provides the power to make it happen.
Encourage him/her to make a list of the positive things about the spouse and find time to verbalize those. (Philippians 4:6-8 )
Remind him/her that s/he cannot change his/her spouse, only God can do that.
Encourage him/her to consider attending a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember marriage getaway.
Remind them that love is action, not feelings (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 )
Remind them their spouse is not their enemy
Talk to your spouse about what affection was like in your family growing up (verbal and non-verbal).
Think about how your father and mother may have shown affection differently.
Discuss ways your family could express more affection for one another.
On a scale of 1-10, rate how much affection you feel you have in your marriage right now. Talk about what you would like it to be if you and your spouse could agree on how to gently and patiently bring about change.
Consider discussing your sexual past with your spouse in a way that is open and honest.
