Have you ended the extramarital affair? If not yet, why not?
Have you ended all contact with the person – phone calls, text messages, social networking, emails, as well as meeting together? If not what kind of contact have you continued to have and what does this continued connection mean?
Does your spouse know about your affair? If so, did your spouse find you out first or did you confess first?
Have you confessed everything to your spouse or are you holding back information?
How is your spouse reacting to the news of your affair?
If your spouse does not yet know about your adultery, what has kept you from confessing? What do you think needs to happen before you are ready to make this confession?
What is your hope for your marriage now and in the future?
What were you looking for in this relationship that was missing in your relationship with your spouse?
What do you believe you could have done to prevent the affair? Have you and your spouse discussed what could have been done differently?
Do you have a picture in mind of what full reconciliation with your spouse will look like, how long it will take to rebuild trust?
How would you describe the difference between genuine remorse and just being sorry for getting caught? (2 Corinthians 7:10)
If the tables were turned and your spouse had cheated on you, how long do you think it would take you to be able to trust again? How prepared are you to give your spouse significant time to recover from this news?
What do you think you can do to convince your spouse that you will now remain faithful to your marriage vows?
Do you have a relationship with Christ? Can you tell me about that?
Do you believe that God is able to cause “all things to work together for good” even in this difficulty? How are you finding Him in the midst of this difficult experience?
Have you sought the help of a wise pastor or counselor? Was that helpful?
Who are you willing to be accountable to so that you can protect your marriage in the future?
What is one step you can take in the right direction and how can I help you do that?