How did you first meet this other person? Were you ever close to them in the past before you were married?
How has this other relationship progressed from that initial friendship? Where did you start and where are you now?
Have strong feelings for this person surfaced (or resurfaced) and how have you been handling those feelings?
Do you ever hide this relationship from your spouse?
Do you talk to this person about problems with your spouse?
Do you confide things to this person about your marriage that would make your spouse feel uncomfortable?
Do you and this other person exchange flirtatious humor?
Do you think about this person when you’re with your spouse?
Can you tell me a little about your marriage and how you’re building into that?
Have you considered how having an emotional connection with the opposite sex puts your marriage at risk?
What does this other friendship reveal about your marriage and areas where God needs to work there?
Do I have your permission to be completely honest about areas of concern, even if I won’t always express those things perfectly?
Can you tell me a little more about your relationship with God?
What does “affection” look like to you?
What was affection like in your family growing up (verbal and non-verbal)?
What would you like to be different in the way your family (or your spouse) shows affection?
How did your father and mother show affection differently?
On a scale of 1-10, how much affection do you feel like you have in your marriage right now? What would you like it to be if you could patiently and gently affect
change?
Have you and your spouse discussed your sexual past with one another? When did you do that? Do you feel that each of you were fully honest in that disclosure?
Are you aware that many people who commit adultery express surprise that it happened? What does that say about the danger of emotional attachments outside of marriage?
Are you open to talking about setting healthy boundaries to protect your marriage?
Do you ever tell yourself, “We’re just good friends,” but secretly long for something more?
Honestly, do you wish you could walk away from your marriage and spend more time with this other person?
Jesus said that adultery is really a matter of an unfaithful heart. How do you feel about that?
What were you looking for in this relationship that was missing in your relationship with your spouse?
If your spouse does not yet know about this other person, what has kept you from confessing? What do you think needs to happen before you are ready to make this confession? What steps can you take to rebuild trust with your spouse?
Do you consider this an emotional affair? Would your spouse consider it an emotional affair?
How important is it to you what the Bible says about faithfulness in marriage? Can we take a look at that together?
If you have to break off this emotional connection to start rebuilding your marriage relationship, are you willing to do that?
Do you ever pray with your spouse? Would you be willing to start, even it’s just for a moment or two each day?
What is one step you can take in the right direction and how can I help you do that?
