No, it isn’t cancer, cigarettes, or disease.  It’s pornography.  

And it could’ve severely damaged my three most important relationships: my God, wife, and children. Thankfully, God rescued me from pornography’s trap. Having a clearer perspective now, I realize I could’ve avoided this snare by practicing three basic instructions. None are mind-blowing, but for those trapped in pornography’s jaws, they are critical.

#1: Be Honest
Are you willing to see yourself from God’s perspective? 

It began with “small” choices.  Looking too long as she jogged by. Staring at air-brushed women. Picking movies with the wrong content. Tempted, I continually caved to selfish desires for what God didn’t intend me to see.

Small choices led to months of viewing images on the Internet to satisfy my sin. Repentance finally came when God put my pornography problem against the honest light of my children and the father I wanted to be.

Here’s my point.  Be honest and do it early.  What if I had been truthful with God back at the “small” choices . . . admitted He hated that I stared at women jogging by my car?  How much pain, damage, and isolation could I have avoided by being truthful about myself?

James puts in plainly.  “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.  The desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” (James 1:14-15)  Do you see the progression . . . desire, temptation, sin, and death?  Be honest with God and do it early.

#2: Be Real

Are you willing to let others into your hidden world?

When struggling with pornography I wanted people to see the guy going to church every Sunday, the guy wearing the suit, climbing the corporate ladder, the man with a son and daughter, and a loving wife by his side. 

I didn’t want them to see the man who was isolating his wife, who used the computer to satisfy his lust, the one who kept parts of his life from God’s truth.

What if I let someone into my world and was real with them? What if I allowed another man to keep me accountable and make sure I was being what I said was?  

Let’s go to the book of James again. “For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.” (James 1:23-24) Notice how this person conveniently sees what he wants and forget s the part of himself not aligning with God’s Word. When you purposefully allow an accountability partner in your life, they can help you “be real” bringing all parts of your life into God’s light.

#3: Be Different

Are you taking purposeful action to change?

Let me acknowledge that overcoming pornography can be extremely difficult.  But if you are unwilling to hate your sin, yield to the Holy Spirit, and resolve to change your course, then overcoming pornography is impossible.

Jesus said lusting after a woman who wasn’t your wife was adultery in the heart.   Do you hate your adultery enough to make significant changes?

Are you willing to immediately avert your eyes to avoid staring at other woman?

Are you willing to change the channel when a Victoria’s Secret ad comes on?

Will you avoid renting movies with sexual situations?

Will you allow your wife or someone else to install Internet accountability software like Covenant Eyes ?

Will you allow someone else to meet with you regularly and ask difficult questions?

Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, said this, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

So if you are flirting with danger or deep in a struggle with pornography, be honest right away about your sin, be real with people about your sin, and through the Spirit’s power change what you do so your behavior is in agreement with the new creation you are in Jesus Christ. Remember, He is faithful to forgive our sins (1 John 1:9).


 Taking it One-to-One:

  •  What small choices, good or bad, are you making which are setting your course in this area of life?
  • Who in your life has a close enough relationship with you where accountability in this area would be welcome?  Talk to them.
  • Would you be willing to do additional learning in this area and ask God to teach you His truth?