The No Threat Message
About the Guest
The answer to this question is important because a child who thinks youâ€™re trying to take their parentâ€™s place will likely work hard to prevent you from doing so. So, just tell them and tell the biological parent, too. A stepmom might say to the Mom: â€œI want you to know, that I know, youâ€™re the mom, not me. My job is to bless your kids, not get in the way.â€ Doing this lowers the childâ€™s and the parentâ€™s sense of threat and their need to oppose the stepparent. It invites cooperation.
Ron DealRon L. Deal is one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country. He is Director of FamilyLife Blended® for FamilyLife®, founder of Smart Stepfamilies™, and the author and Consulting Editor of the Smart Stepfamily Series
How do you let stepchildren know youâ€™re not trying to take their parentâ€™s place?